Part Two: Where God Guides, God Provides

This summer, I experienced one of the best quiet times I have ever had. It was the weekend I was up at Camp Lebanon for a Women’s Leadership. I knew God was calling me back into writing because the writer’s block was lifted, and ideas and passion came flowing out of me. However, I didn’t know how it would all come together.  I was up at camp with an hour and half to myself, surrounded by beauty and tranquility. I wandered around a little bit to a secluded spot on the trail surrounded by trees on one side and the clear, calm lake on the other side. I took a seat and just openly began to cry. I felt in my heart that I was crying out to God to meet me there.

I pulled out my Ipod to play some worship music, and “Mystery” by Phil Wickham came on first:

Here in the Quiet speak to me now
My ears are open to
Your gentle sweet whispering
Break down the door, come inside
Shine down Your bright light
I need a lamp for my feet, I need a lamp for my feet

I want to hear the thunder of who You are
To be captured inside the wonder of who You are
I want to live I want to breathe
To search out Your heart and all of Your mysteries

As I was listening to this song, I realized this was the cry of my heart! I was sobbing, tears streaming down my pale face. I asked, “God, what do You want me to know? Why am I crying it out? What does this mean?”

God quietly whispered, “Trust.”

I cried it out some more. “I want to trust,” I replied.

God said, “Lay your burdens at my feet. Don’t try and figure it out. I have a plan to bring you into your calling and set you free.”

I sat and basked in the sun for a moment. “But God, I feel so powerless!”

God said, “My grace is sufficient, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Silence …

God said, “Don’t just say you believe, but actually believe with your thoughts and words. Take every thought captive to make it obedient to me.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

God continued, “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” (Galatians 5:7)

I said, “Satan! I rebuke you in Jesus’ name. I rebuke the spirit of shame! I rebuke the spirit of doubt and disbelief! Satan, you tell me I’m not good enough. I am! You tell me no one cares. They do! You tell me I can’t impact people, but I can! I have a story to tell, and I’m going to tell it. You say I am not worthy, but I rebuke you Satan! I am worthy because I am a princess of the King!

“God, I trust you!”

I stood up and cried, “I trust you!”

I said it louder, “I trust you!”

Then, shocking myself, I yelled with my hands lifted high, “I TRUST YOU!”

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