In our lives, there are many firsts – first step, first word, first birthday, first bike, first day of school, first scraped knee, first loss, first best friend. But one first that seems to stick with us is a first kiss. There’s something about that moment, that place, that time, that person. It’s a rite of passage moving us from childhood into adolescence and then into adulthood. It’s the feeling of euphoria knowing someone longs to be intimate with you – the first kiss.
I’m not talking about my first kiss ever. That would have been on the playground while I was being chased by the cutest boy in my first grade class, which I get teased about to this day by my family. I’m talking about the first kiss with the man I would commit to spend the rest of my life with. My soul mate. My best friend. Our first kiss is memorable, and there’s no forgetting the exact date – Jan. 28, 2006 – our wedding day in front of 400 of our closest friends and family. What?!
Yes, we waited to physically kiss on the lips until we said, “I do.” Call me crazy because it was my brilliant idea. I had been in and out of several relationships, some serious, some playful, but all ending with a piece of me missing. I knew the next relationship I would be in was the one I would stay in. I wanted it to be crystal clear that it would be my last romantic relationship, so I became a content single woman on an adventure of a lifetime!
Everything changed midway through my junior year of college when I came home for Christmas Break. I was volunteering at a high school conference with a sector of the Campus Crusade for Christ ministry. My friend, Josh, was volunteering too. I had always known I’d marry someone just like Josh, a patient, caring, passionate, straight forward man. However, I also knew it wasn’t him I was to marry; it was just supposed to be someone like him.
God had other plans though. That weekend God hit me with a bag of bricks, and I finally caved. I saw Josh through different eyes and in a different light. I suddenly found myself attracted to him in a more romantic way. This was simply frustrating to me, as just a couple months back I was completely content being single and independent, a free bird living life as I determined!
Well, things progressed. Josh felt the same way about me, and we began our courting relationship. The day I said yes to dating him was the day I knew I would marry that boy. However, I had made a commitment to myself that the next romantic relationship I’d be in would remain as pure as it could until our wedding day. I wanted my husband to have all of me and not just the leftovers. I had made other decisions in past relationships, but there is grace and forgiveness, and God made me pure once again. And that is how I intended to remain until I said, “I do.”
That didn’t mean it wasn’t a difficult year for us because it was. There were always temptations to cross the boundary that we had set, but on Jan. 28, 2006, when our lips first met after saying, “I do,” I can say it was well worth the wait. At that moment, we were united as one flesh, and it physically felt that way.
In the year of dating, we were able to form such a relational connection without the physical expectation. We grew to not only love each other but also to like each other, which would benefit us in the years to come. We knew we were together for more than just the physical attraction we had for each other because we had trained ourselves to dig deeper into an emotionally intimate relationship without the physical pressures.
Do I recommend this for everyone? No, each needs to figure out her own boundaries. But for me, it was worth it to be able to cherish a first kiss with the man God prepared my heart for. My wedding day was truly special, and it was the perfect last first kiss.